Engagement ended...Indians answers ...?

This is an arranged marriage issue…!!!!

I got engaged and came back to US. Let me be honest, before engagement(3 weeks) I was talking with her a lot. But after engagement I felt more of responsibility, so I was not romantic and showed more responsibility like booking her flight tickets, plotting her Visa appointment and keeping her update on what I am doing here for our married life. No where I made her feel that she won't be reliable with me. Due to certain things happening at my personal front , I was not able to get mood to talk to her romantically.

So her mother called up my mother and shouted at her saying .."question u r son to talk properly..blah blah….All I want is my daughter should be pleased..blah blah…She later told my mother that, talks on wedding can take place only after assurance is agreed to an elder family member of a girls side by few elder members of my family. Not just on my mother, she even shouted at my sis and BIL. All my family members were trying to convince her politely not to get involved and let the girl and boy sort out themselves..but it was not use. Basically she was very rude it seems. Later after discussing with my family members I chose to talk to girl before making any terrible choice as all that matters is girls opinion. I tried to contact her but her cell phone was switched off for 3 days and 4 th day she did not pick my call.

Later (4th day) she called up and sounded impolite. She had never spoken to me before like this. She also said , before we talk about wedding I need to rethink and clarify few things. All that she was concerned was, how come I don't talk to her just like I was talking to her before engagement. She is not ready to see the responsibility I am taking for her from my side. Over all she was very impolite. She then gave the phone to her uncle. Her uncle gave me his peace of mind for nearly 1 hour. Since he is an elderly person, I may maybe not say much to him and respected him all though the talk. But he insulted me and some of my family members a lot and was trying to tell me how rich they are..blah blah. Also he was very rude with me. It will take anyone lot of courage to step into their house after listening to such words. While talking to her uncle I also realized my fiancé has made some fake allegation about my family members too..!!! I waited until now to talk to my fiancé and to check her opinion about me. Since she was also impolite and rude, I discussed with my family members and we chose to end the engagement as my fiancé and fiancé family have no respect for me and my family.

1.Do you reckon I took a right choice.
2.Wedding was next month, before it is too late, I had to make a choice. Also considering the way my fiancé side spoke with me and my family we got frightened about the offering law which exists in India which they may not mind using it after wedding for any small issues.

Let me be honest, I may not have been romantically talking to her, but I made sure that she will be pleased with me and showed all the responsibly. I use to call her once in a day or 2.

Answer by Diva Darling
WOW….That was deep.

I cannot say due to the fact I will never be apart of an arranged marriage.

But I would tell them no wedding until there is some mutual respect. You are the man assess? Aren’t they suppose to show you the “head of the household” the respect?

Why marry someone you don’t like? I do not agree with it.

Answer by kittenish
What they want to hear is that you really still feel the romantic feelings you showed early on! Nobody wants their daughter to marry someone who won’t be affectionate towards her, for whatever his “personal” reasons might be. As a husband one of your duties is kindness and consideration for the FEELINGS of your wife, not just taking care of responsibilities concerning her. Yes, life responsible is vital, but if the feelings aren’t there, over time you may start to neglect your responsibilities, too.

What her family wants to hear, and her too! – is that you really care about her and want more than anything to make her pleased, and that you can place your selfishness and personal feelings or problems up your sleeve to bring her joy as a wife. She should do the same for you as her husband. Part of life married is in background your own selfishness up your sleeve and doing what the OTHER person wants, because you care enough to make these sacrifices for them, even if you are in a terrible mood, or tired, or having a terrible day you must be kind and caring towards them anyway. These sacrifices pay back ten fold through the like your spouse will show you for life so considerate.

The number one quality a person looks for in a husband or wife is KINDNESS. While it is excellent you are taking care of all this paperwork, it is much more vital to make amends and say you are sorry – EVEN IF YOU THINK YOU ARE RIGHT, to preserve the feelings of your wife to be. If my fiance became cold and distant so soon before the wedding, I would feel hurt and might come across as impolite, too! I would worry he didn’t like me enough after all. Anyway, talk to her on the phone, call her and tell her you’re really sorry, that you like her, and that you want more than anything to make her pleased. Swear to her that you will not be selfish when you are her husband, and forget all the things her family members said to you.

If the truth but is that you don’t like her? Don’t marry. That simple.

Answer by jessica
first of all you did a huge mistake by taking her as a responsibility rather then showing like and concern towards her. A girl has so many dreams when she gets engaged. She expects that the guy would show how much he likes her and how much he cares for her. But she got hurt when she found a sudden exchange in your behavior because she didn’t expect it from you. But i reckon the way she expressed her hurt and rage towards you was not right. She should not have built-in her family members in this matter and should have discussed the matter with you instead. This indicates that the girl is dependent on her family members for each and every personal matter of her life. First she should have tried resolving the matter herself by interacting with you, if but it wouldn’t have worked then she would have talked to her family about it and to be very frank this is not the right way on part of her family members to be rude with you. They should have instead tried to resolve the matter in a polite way. But as you said that she has made some fake allegation about you as well as well as your family members then you don’t deserve that girl as she doesn’t trust you and also doesn’t have respect for the family members of the guy whom she will get married to. This indicates that she might have shown disrespect to your family members even after marriage. And your marriage life wouldn’t have been successful if she would share each and every matter of both of you to her family members. I reckon you took the right choice by breaking the engagement. But your behavior was not at all proper so you are also at fault but but this also helped you to know what type of person she is.

Know better? Place your own answer in the comments!

CHAPTER 1
Payton Dillinger was a young thirteen year ancient girl. She has had a lot of troubles in her life, but she has always tried to walk into school, and her daily life with a smile. Some days she would just want to break down and weep, but so public would't reckon that she was a weak individual she would always have her head held up high.
Payton had a large family, but she only knew a very small part of them. She did know that they were a bit on the crazy side, or alcoholic, but she did't care. She loved her crazy messed up family anyways.
Her mother, Susan, was a bit different. Payton had a tough time with her mother, but they still loved each additional very much. Susan though sometimes had very terrible rage issues. Payton remembers her mother would get so mad she would start throwing chairs, and nearly hit her.
Payton also had an older sister named Alexis. Alexis was very athletic, and well loved. She was always there for Payton. She was her role model. Out of everyone Payton wanted to be, Alexis was beyond doubt the one she want to be.
There father they were not as close to as they wish they were. Even though there father loved them very much, they only got to see him occasionally, Such as at sporting events, and church.
Payton was a young girl, that I have known most of my life. She was the type of girl who fell in like to simple. She also has wanted the perfect relationship, and she has had quit a rough time trying to find "Mr. Right." This particular tale is about how she fell in like, and was heart broken, but how she had managed and found the right guy. Or did she?
Payton as the young eighth grader at the age of thirteen had just gotten out of a rough relationship. She had been cheated on with a guy that she had really liked. As soon as they had broken up he had started dating her best friend Madison. Payton had a very rough time trying to get over that, but at the same time was facing troubles in her additional life.
At this time there was this sixteen year ancient from her past who had sexually abuse her. He had gotten Payton's cell phone number; he had stalked her and told her that he was going to rape her.
Payton also at this time has chose that she was going to talk to this fantastic guy named Anthony. Now see Anthony was this classic type of a well known country boy. He drank, chewed, and partied like every additional country guy. Anthony though was also a very excellent athlete. Well Anthony was also a sophomore, while Payton was only an eighth grader. Yet the two still liked each additional very much. The only conundrum in there relationship was that Payton was not allowed to date Anthony till she turned fourteen.

CHAPTER 2
Payton had went into the town of Oak Ridge last year. She had made many friends when she went there. She also made some enemies. Not so much enemies, just public that she had disliked.
She had made some mistakes towards the middle of her seventh grade year that she had got judged for. She also has regretted doing persons things. See Payton had sliced her wrists, she was not thinking of her actions when she did this. She was just going through a tough time. But for assurance how many of you have made a mistake and you were not thinking when you had made a mistake that you may maybe't undo? So before you go judging others about there mistakes, reckon about your own first.
Well there was this group of girls who chose to stick there noses into her business. They had been making fun of her and made up a song of this mistake that she had made. If I can remember it went something like "Slice, slice baby." I'm not sure of all of the words, because I did not care of much of what they thought. To Payton though, she was very upset she cried, and cried about that. She had realized that she had made a mistake she just did not know why they were harassing her in such a cruel manner.
Once school was out though Payton was exceptionally pleased that she did not have to deal with anyone's drama anymore. (Until school started back again)
Payton went to the honest during the summer, and she had seen Anthony. As Anthony tried to flirt with her, he sprayed water into her face. She then trying to flirt back and acted upset. So then Anthony gave her a huge hug and told her it was hard not to squirt a cute girl. This is when the two's on and off relationship starts.
Another encounter they had over the summer was at the fireworks in Oak Ridge. This boy was harassing her, and Anthony had pretended to be Payton's boyfriend that way that one guy would place her alone. That night he called her up. They had a very sweet conversation. They talked on the phone in the summer for about two weeks. Then Anthony just quit. Payton felt used. She had no clue what was going on, but she then just went on, or so we all thought.
I’d like to hear your opinions!:)
It’s about a like tale between a girl, and the decisions that she has to make.

Answer by Allison D
They sound excellent to me, fascinating too. What is your book about?

Answer by ♥Sandy is Like♥
I’m hooked(: Keep writing, it’s fantastic!!

Answer by Joanne
It’s okay.
The first chapter is information loaded upon information. We don’t need to know everything about Payton in the first chapter. Let it leak through by showing rather than telling. You just outright tell us who Payton is, everything!
Also, as a reader I should know what the viewpoint is by at least the end of the first chapter, if not before. I thought it would be in third person but as I skimmed through it, I realized it was in first person. You may want to readjust that so you can let the reader cue in earlier.
Let sentence variation occur. I looked over this and Payton is the beginning of a lot of your sentences in the first chapter. Or she. In additional words, information sentences.
Lets take Alexis. You can show she is Payton’s friend through dialogue and actions, etc. Not just outright telling us.

In additional words, let the tale breathe through rather than letting the words tell. You can search on google for the show don’t tell business that you need to work on.
Your spelling and grammar from what I read is pretty excellent. You just need to learn how to develop a stronger voice in writing and learn a writing stylishness that will let you write without complete information chapters.

Excellent luck! ^_^

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