Does everybody have sh*t happen to them on such a regular basis? I just need to vent.?

I’m in my senior year of high school and this is supposed to be the best year of my life so far, but it’s turning out to be really.. well, I wouldn’t say the worst but second worst. The first would be the year that my parents divorced, and my home burned to the ground within a one week period. But this year is really making me upset. First of all, I’ve been living with my mom and brother since the divorce (5 years ago) and we haven’t been doing great financially. My mom works two jobs and is stressed out all of the time; she actually was battling depression and is still now trying to get over it. I have an older sister, but she is married and has a newborn baby girl, so I can’t really spend too much time with her anymore, and she was the closest person to me in my family. My dad is not around; it’s actually a really f***ed up story but it’s too personal to share.
Because of the financial situation, I have been working a steady part-time job since I was 15. I help my mom out a little bit, but most of my money I either save or spend on stuff that I want and/or need. Finally, this past summer, I was able to buy myself a used car with the money I had saved up. I also bought myself a nice phone with the contract renewal, even though I paid a little extra for it (we only have cell phones- no house phone), but I felt like I needed to reward myself a little for working so hard. Oh yeah, I also get great grades in school; 96 average throughout high school, and I take all honors/some AP courses.
Then stuff started to go bad. While some of this stuff I take responsibility for, a lot of it was completely unfair, and I hate that it’s all happening at the same time. In the beginning of the year, my beloved phone fell out of my car (don’t ask) and ended up being run over in an intersection. I then lost my job (completely unrelated). I got in a car accident in the beginning of November, which completely ruined my car but the other lady’s car was untouched! I have fixed my car, but can’t drive it because I don’t have money to pay the insurance anymore.
I didn’t get into the college of my dreams, and my efforts at filling out scholarship after scholarship are useless; I don’t know how I will afford college next year, or if I will be able to afford to go at all. Any extracurricular activities that I had begun this year are now impossible to attend because of my lack or transportation. My mom is getting less and less hours at her second job because of this terrible economy, but she can’t find another job and the extra time is spent sleeping or watching tv in her room, and my brother is continuing to be quite the trouble-maker.
At school, somebody stole my TI 83 calculator, worth nearly $ 100 last time I checked. It was a hand-me-down from my sister, and I NEED that thing for my AP Calc class. We couldn’t afford to get one in the first place, and now I have to somehow find money to buy a replacement. I can’t do my homework, and definitely not my tests, without one and none of my friends can actually let me borrow theirs overnight because then THEY won’t be able to do their homework.
To top it all off, the Valentine’s Day weekend that I was looking forward to so much has been ruined. I’ve been going out with my boyfriend for almost 4 years. I barely get to see him, and we were supposed to have dinner that I was going to make, and then he had a surprise for me (he was going to take me out somewhere- don’t know where). This was going to be soo special because lately me and him haven’t really gotten to spend much time together- he recently got a job, he works early early mornings and by 9 PM (the time that free minutes start; we don’t have the same phone carrier) he is more often than not too tired to hold a good conversation. He lives in the next city over, so we actually have to PLAN things out; we can’t just spontaneously see each other. Well just a few hours ago, I got a call from him and he got into an accident this morning (partially due to the ice on the roads). He doesn’t have his car- so that means I won’t even be seeing him this Valentine’s Day. To make it even worse, he might have to pay to fix one or both of the cars, so that means that he might not have the $ to even go to Prom with me this year.

FML

Does everybody go through problem after problem after problem like this? I don’t know what to do anymore.
Honestly, this isn’t half of what I could have written. I understand there are others that have it much much worse than me and so I am thankful for everything I have. Most of what I have, I’ve had to work for literally so it’s not like I don’t understand the value of any and everything. But really, I’m surrounded by people who are so ignorant of the suffering of people around them that it makes me sick.
Everybody has these moments and sorry that I sounded like I’m the only one with problems- but you have to understand that’s not the whole story. There’s plenty more that I can’t share with Y!A because it’s just honestly too personal. I’m just pissed off that everything I’ve been working for all my life seems to be crashing around me just this year.

Answer by Alice
Okay, you know what? Your life isn’t so bad.

My family is hard working and always has been, but, somehow, we’ve always been dirty poor. We almost ended up living on the streets when I was younger.

I’ve been bullied my whole life.Kids always made me feel like I was ugly and stupid and occasionally I got the crap beaten out of me. I’m a very small person, so, fighting back never really worked out.

My whole life I’ve been a Jesus freak- very, very devote Christian, small-town girl going to the same small church her whole life. And then my world was torn down when I was only 11 when I realized I was bisexual. No matter how hard I tried not to feel it, I did. That destroyed my whole belief in life after death and God and my religion.

I tried to kill myself and failed. Felt like too much of a failure to try again.

I fell in love with my best friend and the hypocritical bitch wouldn’t talk to me again even though, “we’re best friends. We’re hear for each other no matter what. You can tell me anything”.

I finally started dating someone in high school. She was emotionally abusive and I still stayed with her for two years.

I finally left her when I was 15. For a 20 year old. Who destroyed all my innocence and fleeting ability to have a healthy relationship. He made me cheat on my girlfriend of two years, only to leave me a month later to cheat on me at a convention I brought him to. I forgave him and he did that several more times. He broke up with me on my 16th birthday, which he promised to take me out on. Instead, I spent my 16th birthday alone at home.

My dad got cancer and was laid up from work later. So, not only was I fearing for his life, but we were losing the house and could barely afford to eat.

My grandparents died one right after the other as soon s he was better.

My sweet, quiet brother robbed a pharmacy for drugs and tried to kill himself the same night. My mother had to visit him in prison for the next 2 years, then, had to pay for rehab we couldn’t afford.

And, to top it all off? My dad died Monday. The day after I finally made the resolution I’d always promised him to write his book (my dad was super cool and had just about the coolest, most interesting life ever).

I am a magnet for bad things. You? You don’t have it so bad. I’m sorry, but you needed to know there are people out there with it MUCH worse than you.

Answer by Nisa
Alice, it’s not nice to belittle someone’s problems just because your life is “worse”. Does your life being “worse” somehow make what’s happening to her less crappy? No, it doesn’t. And by your logic, your life is a cakewalk because there are children in Africa who are starving, under constant threat of death and/or rape, and have no parents or adult supervision because most of the adult population is infected with AIDS. There’s always someone that has it worse, but that doesn’t minimize the problems that the person is facing. That was really insensitive of you.

Sabaheta, I know things are going really terribly right now for you. I was wondering if you had anyone that you could talk to about it that could just help you work through some of the things that are fixable? (like the scholarships thing… I had a great school counselor that helped me out with that) This person could also help if you just wanted to talk about what’s going on with your home life in relation to your mom and your brother. Sorry about your boyfriend not being able to make it for Valentine’s Day, but no one says you *have* to celebrate it on the 14th. Why not have make up plans and make them even more special for both of you guys since you both seem to be having a rough time? I know things seem really awful right now and you can’t really change that, but you can change how you react to them, which will hopefully ease some of the hardship.

I really hope things work out for you.

Add your own answer in the comments!

The other night, my 17 year old daughter was punished. Part of her punishment was taking away her cell phone for a period of time. I told her that she would get it back the following weekend. I put the phone in my purse and left it there for 3 days. On the 3rd day, I was sitting at home late one night and the house phone rang. I answered it and there was a guy on the other end that said, “I hear this is the number I call if I want a free lay.” Then he hung up. Less than 5 min. later, the phone rang again. When I answered it, a guy on the other end once again made a reference to sex and then hung up. The phone rang a 3rd time….this time a guy said, “Tell your daughter that it’s almost spring break and not to forget her promises.” I planned to ask my daughter about the phone calls in the morning, and then I went to my purse. When I turned the phone on, there were 17 messages and 32 missed texts.

That’s right, I read every text and listened to every message on the phone that night. Every text talked about how she was planning on going to a friends house over spring break where she could lose her virginity because, “only losers start their senior year as virgins.” The texts went into great detail about how this was all going to play out, what guys she was considering losing her virginity with, who would bring the alcohol and what kinds and detailed information regarding what kinds of activities she’d be willing to perform. I was sick!

Yes, I confronted my daughter with the cell phone in hand the next morning. She denied everything and told me that a friend of hers lost her cell phone and was using hers to plan this out. That none of the messages were to or from her, and that the voicemails were mostly her friends and the ones that weren’t, were just a joke.

So my question….as a parent, what would you do? Say? Let’s just say that the phone remains in my purse unless she’s driving and her social life at this time is pretty non existant for the time being.
Tarra….more than half the texts were from her. They were conversations she was having with other people on her phone…. when I see texts from her that are including information about things like our car, her bedroom etc…it’s not like she can deny those are from her.
G8RMommy…. when I originally took the cell phone from her, I just put it in my purse. It wasn’t until I got the calls to our home that I decided to check out her cell phone texts and voicemails. The texts were a conversation between her and 2 different guys that she had prior to me taking the phone.

Answer by gamergirl
Well. don’t let her go. She’s still under your roof. You make the rules. She’s not legally an adult yet either.

Sit down and talk with her about it. Try to be calm or else she will get defensive and not listen. If that doesn’t work. Let out your inner b****.

Or you could go with Tarra’s answer and “trust” your daughter even thought there’s plenty of reason to take the safer route and make sure she doesn’t put herself in that dangerous position.

Answer by Tarra
You would punish HER for phone calls and texts sent by someone else? Don’t you have like any trust?

Im betting she told her friends that she got her cell taken away, and her friends are just trying to piss u off. some friends huh?

Edit: OHHHHHH. Thats different! Sorry. If that’s the case, then I wouldn’t be suprized if my mom shipped my off to a convent – with a sore butt. lol.

I do want to add:
“only losers start their senior year as virgins”
I guess myself and all my friend are loosers then. Much rather be a looser then a slut.

Answer by Amy M
If it were me I’d sit her down and give her one chance to be honest with me. If she still denied it, I would not allow her out for spring break. I would not allow her out for the weekend or dates or sleep overs with friends. I’d give her zero chance to lie to me and zero chance lose her virginity. It’s not just her stupidly losing her virginity because she can, not caring who she’s with and getting drunk to boot, it’s about lying to you. If push came to shove I’d be the one taking her to and from school. I cannot stand a flat out lie.

Answer by Timid Women Rarely Make History
I don’t even know where to begin. But I know one thing. She wouldn’t be going anywhere that weekend,and maybe even longer. No cell phone,no computer. She would stay in her room and just study.

Answer by G8RMommy
I’m confused when you say half the texts were form her. How could she send the texts if the phone was in your purse?

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